Growing up in a Christian home, it was never even a question of whether or not I would take my future husband’s last name. When you believe that marriage is a union under God and that two people are becoming one, sharing a last name is just part of the package. Of course I would take my husband’s name.
As I’ve gotten older, the thought of keeping my last name (or hyphenating) has crossed my mind once or twice, mostly in terms of my career path. As a female writer, it complicates things a lot when you have one body of work pre-name-change and another body of work post-name-change. But being single, I haven’t been in a position where I’ve had to think about it too much; there isn’t much for me to do except write with the name I have and cross the name changing bridge when I come to it. That said: Read more at Too Damn Young:
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As someone who has worked in fashion retail for nearly four years, it’s safe to say that I enjoy clothes, cosmetics and everything in between. It’s also safe to say that I enjoy the shopping that goes along with the fashion industry.
“Retail Therapy” is a very real thing. Sometimes the only thing that makes one feel better is a new pair of shoes. Of course, in my case, new shoes, new necklaces, new lipstick and new perfume doesn’t actually make me feel better. It makes me look adorable, and that might temporarily make me feel good, but it doesn’t solve anything. Read more at Too Damn Young: t’s very common for widows to lose 75% of their friends after their spouse’s death. When a couple is friends with another couple and a group of four becomes three, it upsets the “balance” and the intact couples will bail. Then there’s the matter of married women fearing that widows are “predators” who are after their husbands. It sounds absurd, but it’s a real thing. It has happened to my mom.
Read more at Too Damn Young: I’m really into opera.
It’s one of those super dorky things about me that I shout from the rooftops. I gave speeches about opera in high school. I wrote research papers about opera in college. I frequently spend my weekends going to Met Live in HD performances at my local movie theater. When I’m at a red light and the car next to me is blasting bass-booming hip hop, I crank up “Un bel di” and laugh at the confused stare I get from the adjacent driver. Who needs Kanye when you can have some Puccini, right? It’s weird, I know. Just roll with me for a minute. Read more at Too Damn Young: Vivian, our Too Damn Young founder, recently wrote a response to the recent Huffington Post article, “What It Is Like to Date a Girl Without a Mother.” She found it to be simplistic, demeaning, and stereotypical.
So did I. I am not without a mother, but I am without a father, and the assumptions the HuffPost article made are ones that have been made about me time and time again. “She will pretend she doesn’t have emotions.” “She will feel a sense of embarrassment when someone asks about her parents.” “Holidays will always be hard for her.” “She will cry a lot, but you won’t know when she does.” “She will hide, she will not accept your love right away, and it will take her a while to realize she is more than deserving of it.” As a girl who has lost her father, add some token ’emotional detachment’ and ‘daddy issues’ to that list. I resent being reduced to a list of obstacles to overcome. Read more at Too Damn Young: One of my close friends has been through the wringer this past year. Her mom was diagnosed with breast cancer and has spent the year going through treatment. This past month her brother was in an accident and will need to go through extensive physical therapy.
I just attended this friend’s baby shower. It was a beautiful gathering of friends and family celebrating new life entering the world. New life. When celebrating a baby, you don’t think about life’s fragility because babies have their whole lives ahead of them. However, juxtaposed next to the rest of what my friend has been through recently, it’s hard to not recognize that in the blink of an eye, the vision with which you see the future can be jeopardized. Read more at Too Damn Young: It always feels a little odd to mourn someone you never knew or never met, but the pain of their loss isn’t any less real.
For me, when Harper Lee passed away, it was like I lost an old friend. She wrote the character of Scout Finch, who was a representation of herself, and might as well have been a representation of me. Read more at Too Damn Young: It’s been four years since my dad passed away. It occurred to me that in the time I’ve written for Too Damn Young, I haven’t taken the time or space to just tell you about my dad. As I was thinking through what to say, I began to find it overwhelming. I couldn’t figure out how to express 19 years of my life with him in a way that made any sense. Then it occurred to me: the senses.
Read more at Too Damn Young: A friend’s mom recently passed away, which brings the count to four of my friends who have lost their parents in the years following my dad’s death.
In terms of being a supportive friend during those times, I think I could say with certainty that I have failed. I’m horrible at knowing what to say or do, regardless of my own personal experience. Read more at Too Damn Young: Growing up in the 90s and early 2000s, the internet grew up with me. When I was young we didn’t have the internet at home, then eventually we upgraded to extremely slow dial-up, then to high speed, and now the internet is at my fingertips everywhere I go.
I like that the internet allows our lives to be so easily shareable. I like that I can keep up with long distance friends and relatives, and that the important moments are captured and preserved with so much convenience. As someone who is fairly introverted in “real life” situations, the internet has been a pretty safe place to be. I make friends more easily online. I can speak my mind more easily online. It’s an outlet for me to feel connected while still having the comfort of being by myself. What I don’t like is that the internet has become a place to say or post anything without concern of how it affects anyone else. Read more at Too Damn Young: |
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